Heaven...With Champagne

Where is this?
How do I get there?
Is this what heaven is like?
No, right? There would be more champagne in Heaven.
I'm pretty sure in Heaven, the ocean would be made of champagne. The stars would be champagne bubbles that pop and sprinkle champagne down upon you. Oh wait...There is no heaven. And even if there was, I'm such a bad girl, that I would never make it there. But the thought of all this is kinda making me feel a little tipsy so I'm kind of just enjoying it all. But we are getting off topic. The topic being:
"Where is this and how the hell do I get there?"

Crate & Barrel...With Champagne

Dear Crate & Barrel,
I commend you on trying to sell your champagne flutes, with your catchy title, a colorful back drop, fake ice cubes, and of course, the fake empty bottle of champagne.
But unfortunately, this is not how you sell champagne glasses C&B. Where's the fun? Where's the celebration? Where's the god damn party? Listen, if I am going to drop $3.95 on champagne flutes (and a lot of them) & $49.95 on a bottle chiller, you better make sure a good time is going to be had by all. We need to take this display to the next level. I'm talking, multiple bottles, some empty, some full, and some just plain knocked over. We need party hats, pickle platters, pinatas. I'd throw in free tastings, free massages, free lap dances. Make it interactive.  This is champagne we are talking about, not your grandma's fruit punch.
And speaking of grandmothers, mine had better drapes than whatever crap you have hanging there. Cheers!

No plus one...With Champagne

I'd like to take this time to apologize to Katie & Nicholas, for a friend of mine, who does not remember anything about your wedding. It's not her fault though, I swear. Here's the story: So she was sitting alone, with no plus one, at a very bland table, at a very suburban wedding, minding her own damn business, when all of a sudden, all the couples at the table (everyone but her) started attacking like vultures. Asking questions about whats it's like being 30 and single, like only some rare and sad breed of Human can exist in such a way.
"Where do you even meet someone at this point?"
No joke. Someone seriously asked this question.
One gal, she was probably 25 and a mother of 3, attempted to come to her aid, "Christiansingles.com is a great place to meet people."
Not a moment passed before my friend politely removed herself from the table and bellied up to the bar, where she proceeded to drink...
Now I'd like to make this clear, This wasn't because she should feel sorry for herself. It's quite the opposite. It was a time to rejoice in the fact that she was nothing like these people. And truth be told, She never really was alone. Isn't that right Mr. Bubbly?........he doesn't talk much.

A Raisin...With Champagne

I know what you're thinking. What on earth does a raisin have to do with champagne...well besides the fact of course that wine comes from grapes and raisins are just dried grapes and some wines such as Amarone are created from dried grapes so raisins and wine and thus champagne have a lot in common...but I digress. So as I was saying, aside from the obvious... I bet you didn't know that if you drop a raisin in a glass of fresh champagne, it will bounce up and down continuously, from the bottom of the glass, all the way to the top.

Click here to see for yourself!

Shanghai...With Champagne

Not many people get to travel halfway across the planet to visit the city of the future - Shanghai. What our team found was a Blade Runner-esque city, filled with neon lights and skyscrapers. Most of the rest of the China, on the other hand, couldn't be more different from the United States. While squat toilets (do not touch anything in the bathroom as it probably has urine on it), street pajamas, blood soup, small portions, and the ambiguity of joy and sorrow are the norm here, the opposite societies come together in their love of the deliciousness that is champagne.  One sip and all of a sudden, we and the 1.3 billion Chinese are more alike than I ever thought. Hey there sir, was that a smile? I'm pretty sure that guy just smiled. A toast to you Shanghai, and all of China, for having the brilliance to respect the champagne. And a toast to you, my dear friend, Champagne, for single-handedly, making the world one again.

Sex and the City...With Champagne

There were many negative reviews of the Sex and the City 2 movie circling, before I even had a chance to check it out. I heard it was stupid, full of rich white people problems, sexists, racists, even offensive to women. We decided to check it out anyway, of course opting for the 21+ showing. With a champagne in each hand and maybe a few hidden in the purse, we took our seats, fearing the worse. All I have to say is...we laughed, we cried, we raised our glass (many times), we high fived, we got sshhhh'd, and even wrangled a large girls field trip to the bathroom. To be honest, I'm not sure if I loved the movie or not, mainly because I hardly even remember it. But I sure as hell had a fantastic time with friends. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with champagne. And if you find a champagne to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Beach...With Champagne

The beach used to be a really serene place to sit back, relax and cool off.

Not anymore! Now it seems to be full of more stress than there are grains of sand on the beach (It's a stretch, I get it)

First, there is that annoying thing called skin cancer. So, we lather up in sticky, greasy lotion every 30 minutes, which is great to do, by the way, just before you lie down by millions of grains of sand. Next there is the heat. It's called Global Warming people. So now, not only are you not cooling down, you are soaking wet. Is that sweat or am I literally melting? But then there's the ocean water to jump in, right? I'm sorry but are you seriously even considering touching that cess pool filling up daily with trash and toxins. Don't get me started on the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

So, how do we get past the fact that we're killing the earth one beach at a time? You don’t. You do something about it. Be Vocal. Volenteer. Hell, throw money at the problem. Whatever works for you. But in the meantime, nothing helps you forget about your problems more than a big, full glass of champagne. In this case, you may need the whole bottle. Now sit back and enjoy what is left of our great beaches...and don’t look now but I think the Men’s surf team has just arrived.

Dance Floor...With Champagne

You want to dance. But you are just so nervous. Embarrassed that you've never heard that song, nonetheless this entire genre of music. Frightened by the advancement in lighting technology. Sure that your dance moves went out the door years ago. Not even aware that people actually stopped using the term "went out the door" years ago. It's just all too much for one person to handle.
On the contrary, one SOBER person to handle.
All you need to do is get yourself a bottle of champagne. Trust me, you are going to need the whole thing. Now...chug...keep going....the first few sips are always the worst...you got this....one more big gulp and...fuck it, just bring the bottle with you.
Not only are you on the dance floor...but you have just invented your very own dance move. Before you know it, people across the nation will be doing "The Champagne." You officially own the dance floor.
You're so good, you make dance nervous now.

A Daytime Bar...With NO Champagne

Dear Daytime Bar,
I awoke eager and excited, thinking about what the day had in store for us. I had every intention of meeting you, exchanging pleasantries and then getting people shit faced drunk with you.
The moment I arrived at the party, I ran right over to introduce myself, only to find, astonishingly, not one drop of champagne. Not even an empty bottle, to give hope that another bottle may be be waiting in the wings. You left me hopeless, questioning who I was and what was my purpose. Isn't there always champagne for Mimosas? What the fuck am I here for if there is no goddamn champagne?! It's like everything I had been taught about daytime bars, was all wrong.
Yearning for that champagne feeling, I started giving myself away for free, to kids and pregnant women! I felt trapped and pulpy, waking up next to non-alcoholic white sangrias and white wine spritzers. It was absolutely the lowest point in my life.
Feeling parched, sober, and used I eventually left the party.
I'm not asking for an apology, Daytime Bar. I'm asking you to take a good hard look at yourself and what you have potentially become. It's not over, you still have time to change. I'll be here for you when you do. In the meantime, just stay away from the damn cranberry juice. 
Sincerely,
OJ (not the OJ who killed his wife)

The Murray...With Champagne

We have all been taught to start off our wine pairings with the lightest of wines and end with the richer, more full bodied ones. One should actually start with champagne as a pallet cleanser. According to the experts, white wines would be next, followed by the lighter reds and then of course the deeper reds. Really, the only time it is acceptable to then go back to white is to finish off with a sweet dessert wine. To reverse this order would be quite absurd and nit-witted. 
Not according to Bill Murray. A friend of mine happened to be sitting next to him on a 6 hour cross country flight, in first class, of course.
He started the ascent with some red wine. After a few glasses of that, moved on to white wine, lots of white wine. He then finished off his flight, chasing it all down with a few flutes of the airlines finest bubbly.
So thanks to Bill and his determination to get drunk in flight and break all rules of the game, while doing so, we at withchampagne.com have officially deemed red-to-white-to-champagne as "The Murray."
It can be used in sentences such as, "What are you drinking tonight? I'm doing The Murray." and "Man last night was a blast! Last thing I remember was The Murray."
Try it next time you go out. I've seen enough Bill Murray movies to know, you won't be disappointed.

Canadian Women's Hockey...With Champagne

I'd like to dedicate today to the Canadian Women's Hockey team but, if and only if they stop apologizing for their actions. There was, is, and never will be anything wrong with what you did. I'm an American. You kicked our ass.  And I can still say, your instincts were nothing short of breaktaking. You won Gold! And like any good athlete, you attacked the goal, in this case being the bottle of champagne, with dedication and fervor, and didn't stop until you got the job done. The job, this time around, of course being, getting drunk on the ice...With Champagne.
Oh Canada...You've won the gold in my heart as well.

Perfume...With Champagne

Damn! If I knew about this, I'd be smelling like Champagne years ago!
This scent is amazing, but dangerously addicting. This morning I started by spraying myself, ya' know, my skin and clothes, running through the mist shower. However, moments later, in a daze, I'm spraying the couch, the chairs, rugs, and curtains.
Before I know it, I'm in a high speed chase with my cat trying to spray her down with the bottle. True story. It's that good.
Just please don't drink the stuff. It smells better than it tastes.
Not that I would know.  I just heard that...somewhere...on the radio...What?

Chinese New Year...With Champagne

Happy Chinese New Year!
According to the Chinese Calendar, it's officially the year of the Tiger. But I say screw the Tiger.
Is that offensive?
I declare this, the official year of Champagne!!!!!
In all fairness, the description of those born in the year of the Tiger, is not far off from those who drink Champagne:
Tigers are powerful, gracious, independent, bold and brave.
They are friendly and loving.
The Tiger is a natural leader and loves to be the center of attention.
The Tiger has overpowering attraction.
They are well liked because of their charismatic personalities.
They are rebels that go up against authority.
Even if you don’t agree with the beliefs of the tiger you admire his way.
They take risks and are always searching for excitement.
They get bored quite easily.
Tigers live dangerously which often leads to trouble. 
So all you crazy Tigers out there, let's celebrate our year the right way...With Champagne!

Video of the Week...With Champagne

I don't know how, but I totally forgot about Chris Rock's "Champagne" video.  I'm not really quite sure what it does for Champagne...
but it's sure hilarious enough to watch.
One of my many favorite scenes is at 3:07...What the What?!

 Click Here to Watch the Video

Mannequin...With Champagne

Now this is the type of mannequin I would have liked to see come alive in the 1987 classic "Mannequin."  This mannequin would get you behind the velvet rope, no problem. She would gain free entry into the hottest clubs, free VIP access, free swag and most definitely free champagne. And this mannequin doesn't just drink champagne either, she bathes in it. Okay, more like she fills up a bucket and puts one foot in it then glues clear plastic balls all over her body. But then really what's the difference? This is sounding less and less like an interesting movie and more and more like a Friday night in Chelsea, isn't it?

Evites...With Champagne

Look at these 2 very real and very actual Evites that I so randomly happen to come across.
They are both for Birthdays. Both for the same night.
But why I am drawn to one so much more than the other? Why does one party look like so much more fun? Why am I going to lie and say I'm sick and can't make the one party when really I am getting together with all of my friends and going to the other party? Do I like one friend more than the other?...No. Is it because I got one Evite before the other?...No.
Then what is it, you ask?
THERE"S AN MF'IN CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE EXPLODING IN ONE OF THEM! You are an idiot if you don't go to that party. It is a 100% proven fact that the picture on an Evite determines how fun a party is going to be. I thought everyone knew that. So, next time you plan a big event and you want a lot of people to show up. Pick the damn Champagne bottle exploding Evite!
And you'll always get a "Hell Yes!" reply from me.

Largest Shot Ever...With Champagne

Sometimes when I'm feeling spunky, I order a shot. Excuse me... a glass of champagne and a shot.
Don't get me wrong, it's almost never a good idea.
On this particular occasion it was a particularly bad idea.
Apparently, the bartender, whom might I add, was 5 - 6 months pregnant, had it out for me. Do you see the shot!? I wish I had my hand out in this picture to show how big it really was. We are talking 5 fingers here. 5 man fingers. Tyra Banks' forehead ain't got nothing on this shot. If I had to guess, I would say it was probably 5 - 6 ounces. 1 ounce for every month she was pregnant?  Maybe she wanted me to fulfill a night that she no longer could. Maybe she was trying to get me pregnant. Maybe she thought she was being a pal. After all, hows the saying go... "a heavy pourer makes a good friend" What's that you say...That's not a saying?  Right...probably because it leaves you face down in toilet for an hour!!!! Damn pregnant bartender. She probably named her child Jameson, or Jack, or... Moral of the story is: Champagne only from now on...unless it's Tequilla... I'll never learn.

What Are You Doing...With Champagne?

Help make WithChampagne even better...I know, as if that's even possible.
Share your Champagne Stories, Photos, and Videos.
Send us anything you've done or want to do because of or with Champagne.
We are accepting rants, raves, and even "What the hell is he talking about" nothingness.
The crazier the better.
We want to see and hear it all!
Then check back to see your story posted for millions to see.
So get the champagne flowin' and email: Wendy@withchampagne.com

The Bachelor...With Champagne

Seriously, what would this show do without Champagne?
I have probably tuned in 5 times in the past 5 years (okay fine, I was addicted to the Jason, Molly & Melissa season, but I was completely & unfairly manipulated by the scandal)
But that aside, every time I do check in, they are drinking champagne. And not just a sip here or there but, full on champagne consumption: They are on a date with champagne, at dinner with champagne, in bed with champagne, sucking face with champagne, acting crazy with champagne, crying about it with champagne. I'm starting to think that "finding love" is really nothing but the B story on "The Bachelor."
Is ABC really just trying to find a way to get as much Champagne on Network TV as possible?  Because honestly, the only real true love I'm seeing is between the girls and their champagne.

Video of the Week...With Champagne

There are many ways you can enjoy Champagne.
Just please don't chug it.  Really...Nobody wins.

Click here to see why

That Guy...With Champagne

Every wedding, party and event has "That Guy." "That Guy" who drinks just a little too much and becomes the ultimate life of the party. "That Guy" who grabs the microphone from the house band to give an impromptu speech, or even worse, he decides he should and can sing that next song. "That Guy" who feels like he can tell you anything and everything about his life because he knows he can trust you. "That Guy" you gave a ride home to because he couldn't find his friends, phone, car and thank god, his keys. But he sure found a way to throw up on the entire left side of your car. Listen, I'm not putting down "That Guy." Mainly because, I'm realizing as I write this, that I have done every single one of those things... So, trust me, if you find yourself becoming "That Guy," because it will happen... go behind the bar and grab yourself a couple bottles of champagne and some plastic cups to become your own mobile bar. Nobody likes to wait in line at the bar, so you will bring the bar to them. A verifiable hit at any party. Oh, and pour those drinks with a heavy hand.  Not only are you are doing the guests a service, but the last thing they are going to remember is how drunk they got, and not you attempting to tie your pants into a bandanna.
Who's "That Guy" now?

7 Things To Do...With Champagne

The following link is a holiday website with "what you can do with your  left over champagne from New Years Eve" recipes. I'd like to start by saying, Champagne is not just a New Years Eve drink. That's like saying one can only have cake on their birthday or sex in the champagne room (but that another post all together)
Champagne can and should be drank whenever it is available or as far as I'm concerned, whenever possible.

Also, Id' like to point out that I cannot vouch for any of these recipes. You see, I never have any left over champagne, so I've never had to think of what to do with with it the next day. I honestly didn't even know it was possible not finish the entire bottle. But just in case you find yourself in this rare and improbable predicament, here are:

  7 things to do with leftover champagne

Falling In Love...With Champagne

Have you ever had that magical, only in the movies moment, when you meet someone? At first your eyes meet and the room noise slowly but surely begins to drown out, even disappear. You hear nothing but the faint sound of birds chirping or maybe, just maybe your favorite love song. But not too loud! This isn't a rock show. There we go. That's better. Soon after, as your gazes lock, and you intently focus on that special someone, all that's surrounding starts to blur. Nothing else seems to matter, nonetheless exist. Giddy with excitement, you walk closer and closer until you are standing face to face. 

"What's your name?" they ask. Or so I think that is what they said. I really can't be sure. I hate when the servers try and talk to you! 

...And so you turn, and away you both walk, the tall, thin, structured but not too sweet, glass of champagne in your hand. Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?

Paris Hilton Presents a Can...With Champagne

haahhahhsahahhahhahaa
hhha aa aahahahahh ahh
ha  ha ahh ah ahah
ha aha   ah
ahhh...

Click Here to See the Ad

Why is Paris such a loser?
Actually, don't answer that. Don't even think about her for one more second.

Well, at least it is Prosecco and not actually Champagne.
That's some champagne glass half full type shit right there.

This is a clear, clear example of what NOT to do With Champagne.

Fans...With Champagne

There is nothing better than hanging out with a true fan. Being at a concert, movie, or event with somebody who really knows, loves, and appreciates what you are seeing and/or hearing so much so that it makes you feel it too. This weekend I watched a diehard Saints fan watch the NFC championship game.  Spoiler Alert...They won.

It was a great game and I got to watch this fan scream, yell, laugh, cry, run, jump, skip and fall, all for the love of her team.

If only I had something I loved that much...

Video of the Week...With Champagne

How many men does it take to open a bottle of champagne?

Click here to watch the video

Baby...With Champagne

Anyone who knows me knows that babies just aren't my thing. I have nothing against them. They are tiny, adorable, innocent visions of ourselves. I just don't have that, je ne sais quoi... maternal instinct, I guess. I have to say though, there is something about this baby. I'm unusually drawn to him. I can't really put my finger on it. He just seems cooler than all the rest of them. Like maybe he can hang and just be cool. He probably doesn't even cry. If I had to guess, he probably even changes his own diapers and says things like "Mom, I got this. Go in the kitchen and go fix us some champagne."
Well, It might sound more like "Ba Ba!" But I know what he is saying.
I mean if you think about it, one of the first words that babies attempt to say is "Bottle" so, we shove a bottle of milk in the their mouths. Who in their right mind would want to drink that much milk? What if they are really asking for Champagne? That's what I think.
And that is why I should probably never be a Mother.

Photo Booth...With Champagne

There is nothing better than a photo booth at a party. Those who are not in the photo booth, wish they were, whether they admit to it or not. Those in the photo booth are having the time of their lives. Until, of course, the next morning when you see the picture on the dresser and you ask yourself the following questions: When the hell did we take this? There was a photo booth at the party? Who is that? And why was I doing that?!!?!?!
What is it about photo booths that make people lose all their inhibitions? Faces contort. Tongues come out. Hands go everywhere, usually where they're not suppose to. Legs go flying. I've even seen some shirts come off in my day.
If I've learned anything about photo booths it's that, it is best to keep your hands occupied. Preferably with a glass of champagne. This way, when the time comes for that flash bulb to go off, the worst possible outcome is a random picture with your glass on top of your head. Exhibit A...

Guy on Guy...With Champagne

I know this sounds bad. But it's not. These guys are not gay. Although they are not doing too good of a job proving me right. But even if they were gay, it wouldn't be a problem. That is why I am turning this into a Prop 8 post. If you think that gay marriage is wrong or even worse, being gay is a sin, then you are an imbecil. There's not a champagne in the world that can fix that...But please don't ever stop trying.

Self Check Out...With Champagne

I don't know if you've noticed this but, 8pm on a Friday night is a busy time at the supermarket. This means lines. Lines at every register. Even the 12 items or less register has a line because of some bat shit, crazy lady with 35 items.
Listen. The line waiting stops here.
You have somewhere to be. And you have 3 ice cold bottles of champagne getting warmer by each passing, line waiting, minute.
This, my little grasshopper, is what the self check out is for.
You swipe the bottles. You swipe your card.
They quickly come over to make sure you are of age.
And you are out of there! You are in your car and on the way to an undisclosed location with 3 bottles of COLD champagne and not a second to spare, to do a little self checking out of your own.

Bartending...With Champagne

Ever been to a house party where the bartender isn't pulling their weight... or even worse, they can't be found. You find yourself waiting and waiting and waiting for a drink. F that!
You get your ass behind the bar and start making those drinks yourself.
Here is a quick check list of things to do once you find yourself there.
1 - Make sure that bar is stocked: Where's the champagne? Find it and find it fast.
2 - Take care of you: Pour yourself a drink. A big one... with champagne. A good bartender never knows when they'll get a break.
3 - You are in charge. Your make the rules: You stepped up the the plate so you get to pour all your friends a drink first. If it's the kind of party I think it is, they are probably going to run out of liquor soon. Use as much booze as you can. You are not going to want to stay long.
4- Get Out: Leave the area. Dispose of the evidence.
What? I never said you were to bartend for the whole party.
You have better things to do than make midori sours and white russians for a bunch of losers.
Grab any remaining bottles of champagne and get the hell out of there!

Wine Tasting...With Champagne

Can you imagine what a real treat this was for me?
What in this world is really better than wine tasting?
Wine tasting with Champagne!!!!!
This seriously was just a special, special moment in my life. I tasted old champagnes, new champagnes, dry champagnes, sweet champagnes, even red champagnes.
And after it was all said and done...we drove miles and miles back to each of the 4 wineries we had visited previously, to find where the hell I left my sunglasses. Tastings my ass! There are some very generous pourers up there in wine country. And I want to take this time to personally thank each and every one of them:
Rhonda...You go girl!
Steve...Always bringin' your A game.
Craig...You were right. It was 5.
Barbara...This May for sure!
Sandy...Oooh ooooooooh!

Time Square...With Champagne

I wasn’t there this year. I was in San Francisco having quite a little champagne party of my own. But approx
1 million people were there, in Time Square, suffering in the cold to watch a well-lit ball drop 20 ft for 60 seconds, then grossly make out on national TV.
Did you know that no alcohol is allowed in Time Square, even for this momentous occasion?
I’m sure people sneak it.
But I guess the only other option would be not to sneak it, not to suffer in the cold, not to stand in a crowd of 1 million and not to grossly make out with someone on national TV... but to grossly make out with someone in front of the TV holding a glass of champagne.
Now that's a resolution I can stick to!

Alton Brown...With Champagne

Is there anyone out there that doesn't love Alton Brown? Anyone who doesn't secretly love his zany ways, enthusiasm, and zest for applying science to all things food? Well I've always loved the guy. I guess you can say he has been like a father to me. He's taught me how to brighten up cheap champagne by adding easily made orange ice cubes. Because no champagne should ever go to waste.
He taught me that bubbly should always be served between 43 and 48 degrees Fahrenheit, a thermal state best obtained by placing the bottle in a bucket containing equal portions of ice and water for one half hour. And last but certainly not least, I've learned, from his wealth of knowledge, the correct way to uncork. Yes there is a way to do it without exploding the bottle, hitting your friend in the face, and spilling it all over yourself. That's not to say, I don't, sometimes, do it that way anyway. But there is a time and a place for everything.
That, I learned on my own.

Cat in a Bag...With Champagne

I’m not quite sure where to go with this one, to be honest with you.

Twas an ordinary Friday night and all through the house, I opened up a fresh bottle of champagne and decided to drink some…

Whatever, so it doesn’t rhyme.

Not a creature was stirring, except for my cat, who hauled ass across the room in order to jump into a paper bag I had sitting on the table. I offered her a glass of champagne, for the effort.

She refused.

I’ll never understand her.

Housewarming Party...With Champagne

Most people have their housewarming party once they get most of their belongings moved out and moved in. Usually, they even unpack some, if not all, of the boxes containing these belongings. Maybe they are using their old furniture until they realize they hate it or maybe they shelled out some major dough for a new living room set to match the exposed brick and early 1920’s window detailing. This party usually consists of a gathering of people, whether it be a small handful of your closest friends or a large cornucopia of friends of friends of friends.

I went to a house warming party that decided to detour quite a bit from this before mentioned housewarming party template.

Belongings - Scattered between 2 apartments.

Boxes - Completely unpacked.

Furniture - None to speak of.

Attendees - Host, Me & a bottle of champagne.

It was the best god damn housewarming party I've ever been to.

Team Activities...With Champagne

Drinking alone is not encouraged. So sometimes With Champagne will gather up all of our friends and come up with team activities. We even have an annual football game. My friends think it’s just and excuse to see one other and catch up. We’ll tell passer-bys in the park, it’s for charity. LA loves that shit. And we make sure the kids know that an active lifestyle can prevent childhood obesity. But the real reason we do it, between you and me…I like to win. You thought I was going to say Champagne didn’t you? Nope. Just a good ole’ fashioned “Get everyone drunk as hell so my team wins every year.” Oh, and the champagne doesn't hurt when it's time to celebrate.

Random Things...With Champagne

Take a bunch of random things, anything you can find in your house.

Grab a fan, some bath salts, green tea if you’re a tea drinker. And if you’re not, you probably didn’t get the memo, coffee is out.

Now, line up all your things on a shelf with a glass of champagne. Do you see it?

No matter what you put up there, whether it be as expensive and shiny as jewels or as random as toothpicks, the champagne will always stand out. And not just stand out, it almost looks like it’s taking a step forward. As if to say, “I'm here for you. I’m not just some random item. I’m a friend.” And it’s right. What was I doing putting it up on a shelf with a bunch of meaningless things? It deserves a place in my hand...in my belly. Yep, that’s right about where that friend analogy ends. Unless, you are a carnivore? Wait...did this post just get weird?