That Guy...With Champagne

Every wedding, party and event has "That Guy." "That Guy" who drinks just a little too much and becomes the ultimate life of the party. "That Guy" who grabs the microphone from the house band to give an impromptu speech, or even worse, he decides he should and can sing that next song. "That Guy" who feels like he can tell you anything and everything about his life because he knows he can trust you. "That Guy" you gave a ride home to because he couldn't find his friends, phone, car and thank god, his keys. But he sure found a way to throw up on the entire left side of your car. Listen, I'm not putting down "That Guy." Mainly because, I'm realizing as I write this, that I have done every single one of those things... So, trust me, if you find yourself becoming "That Guy," because it will happen... go behind the bar and grab yourself a couple bottles of champagne and some plastic cups to become your own mobile bar. Nobody likes to wait in line at the bar, so you will bring the bar to them. A verifiable hit at any party. Oh, and pour those drinks with a heavy hand.  Not only are you are doing the guests a service, but the last thing they are going to remember is how drunk they got, and not you attempting to tie your pants into a bandanna.
Who's "That Guy" now?