Dance Floor...With Champagne

You want to dance. But you are just so nervous. Embarrassed that you've never heard that song, nonetheless this entire genre of music. Frightened by the advancement in lighting technology. Sure that your dance moves went out the door years ago. Not even aware that people actually stopped using the term "went out the door" years ago. It's just all too much for one person to handle.
On the contrary, one SOBER person to handle.
All you need to do is get yourself a bottle of champagne. Trust me, you are going to need the whole thing. Now...chug...keep going....the first few sips are always the worst...you got this....one more big gulp and...fuck it, just bring the bottle with you.
Not only are you on the dance floor...but you have just invented your very own dance move. Before you know it, people across the nation will be doing "The Champagne." You officially own the dance floor.
You're so good, you make dance nervous now.