Falling In Love...With Champagne

Have you ever had that magical, only in the movies moment, when you meet someone? At first your eyes meet and the room noise slowly but surely begins to drown out, even disappear. You hear nothing but the faint sound of birds chirping or maybe, just maybe your favorite love song. But not too loud! This isn't a rock show. There we go. That's better. Soon after, as your gazes lock, and you intently focus on that special someone, all that's surrounding starts to blur. Nothing else seems to matter, nonetheless exist. Giddy with excitement, you walk closer and closer until you are standing face to face. 

"What's your name?" they ask. Or so I think that is what they said. I really can't be sure. I hate when the servers try and talk to you! 

...And so you turn, and away you both walk, the tall, thin, structured but not too sweet, glass of champagne in your hand. Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?

Paris Hilton Presents a Can...With Champagne

haahhahhsahahhahhahaa
hhha aa aahahahahh ahh
ha  ha ahh ah ahah
ha aha   ah
ahhh...

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Why is Paris such a loser?
Actually, don't answer that. Don't even think about her for one more second.

Well, at least it is Prosecco and not actually Champagne.
That's some champagne glass half full type shit right there.

This is a clear, clear example of what NOT to do With Champagne.

Fans...With Champagne

There is nothing better than hanging out with a true fan. Being at a concert, movie, or event with somebody who really knows, loves, and appreciates what you are seeing and/or hearing so much so that it makes you feel it too. This weekend I watched a diehard Saints fan watch the NFC championship game.  Spoiler Alert...They won.

It was a great game and I got to watch this fan scream, yell, laugh, cry, run, jump, skip and fall, all for the love of her team.

If only I had something I loved that much...

Video of the Week...With Champagne

How many men does it take to open a bottle of champagne?

Click here to watch the video

Baby...With Champagne

Anyone who knows me knows that babies just aren't my thing. I have nothing against them. They are tiny, adorable, innocent visions of ourselves. I just don't have that, je ne sais quoi... maternal instinct, I guess. I have to say though, there is something about this baby. I'm unusually drawn to him. I can't really put my finger on it. He just seems cooler than all the rest of them. Like maybe he can hang and just be cool. He probably doesn't even cry. If I had to guess, he probably even changes his own diapers and says things like "Mom, I got this. Go in the kitchen and go fix us some champagne."
Well, It might sound more like "Ba Ba!" But I know what he is saying.
I mean if you think about it, one of the first words that babies attempt to say is "Bottle" so, we shove a bottle of milk in the their mouths. Who in their right mind would want to drink that much milk? What if they are really asking for Champagne? That's what I think.
And that is why I should probably never be a Mother.

Photo Booth...With Champagne

There is nothing better than a photo booth at a party. Those who are not in the photo booth, wish they were, whether they admit to it or not. Those in the photo booth are having the time of their lives. Until, of course, the next morning when you see the picture on the dresser and you ask yourself the following questions: When the hell did we take this? There was a photo booth at the party? Who is that? And why was I doing that?!!?!?!
What is it about photo booths that make people lose all their inhibitions? Faces contort. Tongues come out. Hands go everywhere, usually where they're not suppose to. Legs go flying. I've even seen some shirts come off in my day.
If I've learned anything about photo booths it's that, it is best to keep your hands occupied. Preferably with a glass of champagne. This way, when the time comes for that flash bulb to go off, the worst possible outcome is a random picture with your glass on top of your head. Exhibit A...

Guy on Guy...With Champagne

I know this sounds bad. But it's not. These guys are not gay. Although they are not doing too good of a job proving me right. But even if they were gay, it wouldn't be a problem. That is why I am turning this into a Prop 8 post. If you think that gay marriage is wrong or even worse, being gay is a sin, then you are an imbecil. There's not a champagne in the world that can fix that...But please don't ever stop trying.

Self Check Out...With Champagne

I don't know if you've noticed this but, 8pm on a Friday night is a busy time at the supermarket. This means lines. Lines at every register. Even the 12 items or less register has a line because of some bat shit, crazy lady with 35 items.
Listen. The line waiting stops here.
You have somewhere to be. And you have 3 ice cold bottles of champagne getting warmer by each passing, line waiting, minute.
This, my little grasshopper, is what the self check out is for.
You swipe the bottles. You swipe your card.
They quickly come over to make sure you are of age.
And you are out of there! You are in your car and on the way to an undisclosed location with 3 bottles of COLD champagne and not a second to spare, to do a little self checking out of your own.

Bartending...With Champagne

Ever been to a house party where the bartender isn't pulling their weight... or even worse, they can't be found. You find yourself waiting and waiting and waiting for a drink. F that!
You get your ass behind the bar and start making those drinks yourself.
Here is a quick check list of things to do once you find yourself there.
1 - Make sure that bar is stocked: Where's the champagne? Find it and find it fast.
2 - Take care of you: Pour yourself a drink. A big one... with champagne. A good bartender never knows when they'll get a break.
3 - You are in charge. Your make the rules: You stepped up the the plate so you get to pour all your friends a drink first. If it's the kind of party I think it is, they are probably going to run out of liquor soon. Use as much booze as you can. You are not going to want to stay long.
4- Get Out: Leave the area. Dispose of the evidence.
What? I never said you were to bartend for the whole party.
You have better things to do than make midori sours and white russians for a bunch of losers.
Grab any remaining bottles of champagne and get the hell out of there!

Wine Tasting...With Champagne

Can you imagine what a real treat this was for me?
What in this world is really better than wine tasting?
Wine tasting with Champagne!!!!!
This seriously was just a special, special moment in my life. I tasted old champagnes, new champagnes, dry champagnes, sweet champagnes, even red champagnes.
And after it was all said and done...we drove miles and miles back to each of the 4 wineries we had visited previously, to find where the hell I left my sunglasses. Tastings my ass! There are some very generous pourers up there in wine country. And I want to take this time to personally thank each and every one of them:
Rhonda...You go girl!
Steve...Always bringin' your A game.
Craig...You were right. It was 5.
Barbara...This May for sure!
Sandy...Oooh ooooooooh!

Time Square...With Champagne

I wasn’t there this year. I was in San Francisco having quite a little champagne party of my own. But approx
1 million people were there, in Time Square, suffering in the cold to watch a well-lit ball drop 20 ft for 60 seconds, then grossly make out on national TV.
Did you know that no alcohol is allowed in Time Square, even for this momentous occasion?
I’m sure people sneak it.
But I guess the only other option would be not to sneak it, not to suffer in the cold, not to stand in a crowd of 1 million and not to grossly make out with someone on national TV... but to grossly make out with someone in front of the TV holding a glass of champagne.
Now that's a resolution I can stick to!