Falling In Love...With Champagne

Have you ever had that magical, only in the movies moment, when you meet someone? At first your eyes meet and the room noise slowly but surely begins to drown out, even disappear. You hear nothing but the faint sound of birds chirping or maybe, just maybe your favorite love song. But not too loud! This isn't a rock show. There we go. That's better. Soon after, as your gazes lock, and you intently focus on that special someone, all that's surrounding starts to blur. Nothing else seems to matter, nonetheless exist. Giddy with excitement, you walk closer and closer until you are standing face to face. 

"What's your name?" they ask. Or so I think that is what they said. I really can't be sure. I hate when the servers try and talk to you! 

...And so you turn, and away you both walk, the tall, thin, structured but not too sweet, glass of champagne in your hand. Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?

Paris Hilton Presents a Can...With Champagne

haahhahhsahahhahhahaa
hhha aa aahahahahh ahh
ha  ha ahh ah ahah
ha aha   ah
ahhh...

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Why is Paris such a loser?
Actually, don't answer that. Don't even think about her for one more second.

Well, at least it is Prosecco and not actually Champagne.
That's some champagne glass half full type shit right there.

This is a clear, clear example of what NOT to do With Champagne.

Fans...With Champagne

There is nothing better than hanging out with a true fan. Being at a concert, movie, or event with somebody who really knows, loves, and appreciates what you are seeing and/or hearing so much so that it makes you feel it too. This weekend I watched a diehard Saints fan watch the NFC championship game.  Spoiler Alert...They won.

It was a great game and I got to watch this fan scream, yell, laugh, cry, run, jump, skip and fall, all for the love of her team.

If only I had something I loved that much...

Video of the Week...With Champagne

How many men does it take to open a bottle of champagne?

Click here to watch the video

Baby...With Champagne

Anyone who knows me knows that babies just aren't my thing. I have nothing against them. They are tiny, adorable, innocent visions of ourselves. I just don't have that, je ne sais quoi... maternal instinct, I guess. I have to say though, there is something about this baby. I'm unusually drawn to him. I can't really put my finger on it. He just seems cooler than all the rest of them. Like maybe he can hang and just be cool. He probably doesn't even cry. If I had to guess, he probably even changes his own diapers and says things like "Mom, I got this. Go in the kitchen and go fix us some champagne."
Well, It might sound more like "Ba Ba!" But I know what he is saying.
I mean if you think about it, one of the first words that babies attempt to say is "Bottle" so, we shove a bottle of milk in the their mouths. Who in their right mind would want to drink that much milk? What if they are really asking for Champagne? That's what I think.
And that is why I should probably never be a Mother.

Photo Booth...With Champagne

There is nothing better than a photo booth at a party. Those who are not in the photo booth, wish they were, whether they admit to it or not. Those in the photo booth are having the time of their lives. Until, of course, the next morning when you see the picture on the dresser and you ask yourself the following questions: When the hell did we take this? There was a photo booth at the party? Who is that? And why was I doing that?!!?!?!
What is it about photo booths that make people lose all their inhibitions? Faces contort. Tongues come out. Hands go everywhere, usually where they're not suppose to. Legs go flying. I've even seen some shirts come off in my day.
If I've learned anything about photo booths it's that, it is best to keep your hands occupied. Preferably with a glass of champagne. This way, when the time comes for that flash bulb to go off, the worst possible outcome is a random picture with your glass on top of your head. Exhibit A...

Guy on Guy...With Champagne

I know this sounds bad. But it's not. These guys are not gay. Although they are not doing too good of a job proving me right. But even if they were gay, it wouldn't be a problem. That is why I am turning this into a Prop 8 post. If you think that gay marriage is wrong or even worse, being gay is a sin, then you are an imbecil. There's not a champagne in the world that can fix that...But please don't ever stop trying.

Self Check Out...With Champagne

I don't know if you've noticed this but, 8pm on a Friday night is a busy time at the supermarket. This means lines. Lines at every register. Even the 12 items or less register has a line because of some bat shit, crazy lady with 35 items.
Listen. The line waiting stops here.
You have somewhere to be. And you have 3 ice cold bottles of champagne getting warmer by each passing, line waiting, minute.
This, my little grasshopper, is what the self check out is for.
You swipe the bottles. You swipe your card.
They quickly come over to make sure you are of age.
And you are out of there! You are in your car and on the way to an undisclosed location with 3 bottles of COLD champagne and not a second to spare, to do a little self checking out of your own.

Bartending...With Champagne

Ever been to a house party where the bartender isn't pulling their weight... or even worse, they can't be found. You find yourself waiting and waiting and waiting for a drink. F that!
You get your ass behind the bar and start making those drinks yourself.
Here is a quick check list of things to do once you find yourself there.
1 - Make sure that bar is stocked: Where's the champagne? Find it and find it fast.
2 - Take care of you: Pour yourself a drink. A big one... with champagne. A good bartender never knows when they'll get a break.
3 - You are in charge. Your make the rules: You stepped up the the plate so you get to pour all your friends a drink first. If it's the kind of party I think it is, they are probably going to run out of liquor soon. Use as much booze as you can. You are not going to want to stay long.
4- Get Out: Leave the area. Dispose of the evidence.
What? I never said you were to bartend for the whole party.
You have better things to do than make midori sours and white russians for a bunch of losers.
Grab any remaining bottles of champagne and get the hell out of there!

Wine Tasting...With Champagne

Can you imagine what a real treat this was for me?
What in this world is really better than wine tasting?
Wine tasting with Champagne!!!!!
This seriously was just a special, special moment in my life. I tasted old champagnes, new champagnes, dry champagnes, sweet champagnes, even red champagnes.
And after it was all said and done...we drove miles and miles back to each of the 4 wineries we had visited previously, to find where the hell I left my sunglasses. Tastings my ass! There are some very generous pourers up there in wine country. And I want to take this time to personally thank each and every one of them:
Rhonda...You go girl!
Steve...Always bringin' your A game.
Craig...You were right. It was 5.
Barbara...This May for sure!
Sandy...Oooh ooooooooh!

Time Square...With Champagne

I wasn’t there this year. I was in San Francisco having quite a little champagne party of my own. But approx
1 million people were there, in Time Square, suffering in the cold to watch a well-lit ball drop 20 ft for 60 seconds, then grossly make out on national TV.
Did you know that no alcohol is allowed in Time Square, even for this momentous occasion?
I’m sure people sneak it.
But I guess the only other option would be not to sneak it, not to suffer in the cold, not to stand in a crowd of 1 million and not to grossly make out with someone on national TV... but to grossly make out with someone in front of the TV holding a glass of champagne.
Now that's a resolution I can stick to!

Alton Brown...With Champagne

Is there anyone out there that doesn't love Alton Brown? Anyone who doesn't secretly love his zany ways, enthusiasm, and zest for applying science to all things food? Well I've always loved the guy. I guess you can say he has been like a father to me. He's taught me how to brighten up cheap champagne by adding easily made orange ice cubes. Because no champagne should ever go to waste.
He taught me that bubbly should always be served between 43 and 48 degrees Fahrenheit, a thermal state best obtained by placing the bottle in a bucket containing equal portions of ice and water for one half hour. And last but certainly not least, I've learned, from his wealth of knowledge, the correct way to uncork. Yes there is a way to do it without exploding the bottle, hitting your friend in the face, and spilling it all over yourself. That's not to say, I don't, sometimes, do it that way anyway. But there is a time and a place for everything.
That, I learned on my own.

Cat in a Bag...With Champagne

I’m not quite sure where to go with this one, to be honest with you.

Twas an ordinary Friday night and all through the house, I opened up a fresh bottle of champagne and decided to drink some…

Whatever, so it doesn’t rhyme.

Not a creature was stirring, except for my cat, who hauled ass across the room in order to jump into a paper bag I had sitting on the table. I offered her a glass of champagne, for the effort.

She refused.

I’ll never understand her.

Housewarming Party...With Champagne

Most people have their housewarming party once they get most of their belongings moved out and moved in. Usually, they even unpack some, if not all, of the boxes containing these belongings. Maybe they are using their old furniture until they realize they hate it or maybe they shelled out some major dough for a new living room set to match the exposed brick and early 1920’s window detailing. This party usually consists of a gathering of people, whether it be a small handful of your closest friends or a large cornucopia of friends of friends of friends.

I went to a house warming party that decided to detour quite a bit from this before mentioned housewarming party template.

Belongings - Scattered between 2 apartments.

Boxes - Completely unpacked.

Furniture - None to speak of.

Attendees - Host, Me & a bottle of champagne.

It was the best god damn housewarming party I've ever been to.

Team Activities...With Champagne

Drinking alone is not encouraged. So sometimes With Champagne will gather up all of our friends and come up with team activities. We even have an annual football game. My friends think it’s just and excuse to see one other and catch up. We’ll tell passer-bys in the park, it’s for charity. LA loves that shit. And we make sure the kids know that an active lifestyle can prevent childhood obesity. But the real reason we do it, between you and me…I like to win. You thought I was going to say Champagne didn’t you? Nope. Just a good ole’ fashioned “Get everyone drunk as hell so my team wins every year.” Oh, and the champagne doesn't hurt when it's time to celebrate.

Random Things...With Champagne

Take a bunch of random things, anything you can find in your house.

Grab a fan, some bath salts, green tea if you’re a tea drinker. And if you’re not, you probably didn’t get the memo, coffee is out.

Now, line up all your things on a shelf with a glass of champagne. Do you see it?

No matter what you put up there, whether it be as expensive and shiny as jewels or as random as toothpicks, the champagne will always stand out. And not just stand out, it almost looks like it’s taking a step forward. As if to say, “I'm here for you. I’m not just some random item. I’m a friend.” And it’s right. What was I doing putting it up on a shelf with a bunch of meaningless things? It deserves a place in my hand...in my belly. Yep, that’s right about where that friend analogy ends. Unless, you are a carnivore? Wait...did this post just get weird?