Sports Bar...With Champagne

It's 9am. You just woke up and your head is pounding. The last think you can think about is having a drink. But it's Sunday and your favorite football team is on in an hour. You stumble to your local sports bar to meet up with your friends. You know you need bacon. Definitely bacon. And a side of eggs. But what do you order to drink? A Bloody Mary? A Beer? An ice cold Heinneken in that bright green bottle with a drop of ice cold water trickling down over it's simple yet sophisticated label. WRONG! A God Damn Champagne is what you order. I can't believe your mind even went there. A Heinneken? It tastes like a skunk peed in a bottle. Didn't college teach you anything? And a Bloody Mary? More like a Muddy Schmlarey. (Just go with it).
It's Sunday. The Lord's Day. Your favorite team is on. You are at a bar. It's a free country (this statement applies only to those actually in a free country). Celebrate what you have. Be thankful for all that has been given to you. Hold that champagne up high! But can you put a little orange juice in it? You're getting kinda drunk, and it's annoying.